The Spaces in Between us

I have been thinking a lot lately about the spaces that exist between you and another. In art, this is called negative space. Not in the construct that the space itself is negative, but that you have to look in another way, much like a photo negative (remember those!?). The space always exists and will never cease to exist. Try as you might, you will never fully be joined to another person, the space will always exist, no one but you can inhabit your skin. I suppose this is kind of why there is a sort of pressure to be someone amazing, someone incredible---someone no one else can be.. because no one can.

I think that in the spaces in between is where we are most free to inhabit and where we experience the most freedom. Let me explain a bit more: In my experience, overcoming fear of the unknown is insanely vital to stepping out and breaking down barriers of expectation. In order to truly inhabit the space of the unknown, you must know that space in which you inhabit, which is yourself. Nobody can truly force you to be someone or something because you are always making choices about who you are. People are so fascinating to me... when you boil them down, they are (generally) all made of the same parts but the fall out, what comes from the mind is so expansive. What humans are capable of is so huge. You can define yourself through others, and others can define you with words... but why would you when you are so much bigger than words.

I think where all this is stemming from is my search of who I am. Let's be honest. I really have no idea how this greeney eyed, blondish haired, Jesus loving, rash, borderline rude, intuitive, rule bending farm girl ended up typing this quasi art theory/philosophy on her blog, online. but I feel some insane urge to write.  I may seem confident to some, sure of myself to others... but really, I often feel how my room looks... in a state of upheaval. I wish that I knew how to organize my thoughts, create a system that would allow me in the midst of a conversation where I'm asked if I did anything embarrassing as a child, look through the records and pull out a memory written there in stone... instead of looking a little shell shocked and cursing my mind under my breath when it's just completley empty... like listen to the crickets. Let's just say that my recall is not that great... but I'm learning.. I guess. How can I figure out who I am if I can't even recall half of what has happened to me.

but I'm moving away from the spaces in between. The spaces in between is where Sigur Rós's music has a home. The spaces in between is where abstract art has a place to wonder and wander, it's an extension of self, but one that is searching, wondering, questioning and inviting others to explore this void.. this extension of self that will never fully fill the void that is outside but it's existence is important and has value because it's there. It's a collective argument against sepparation.. it's the groanings of creation. its the desire to return to the garden.. to end this space, the physical sepparation that our souls experience as a result of humanity.