CAUTION! depth ahead

What if life wasn't perfectly linear? What if it was more like a labyrinth? What if we were always walking forward, moving, winding stepping closer towards something, even though at times we feel like we are walking in directly the opposite direction? What if that was just the way that the path was going and that it switches back around? What then? Is it just me that feels like this is a major breakthrough? :) c'est la vie.

Pugs not Drugs

So, I'm a little bit cynical sometimes. That's pretty much a fact. I think though, I have found an illustrator that has a bit of my same (what I think is) hilarious cynicism. I enjoy her work just a bit too much I think. Most of my friends are concerned for my mental well being. Gemma Correll check out her website sometime. cause she's the bomb dot com.

Stop. please.

dear life.

This is a message from one who loves you. Loves to experience the joys of life, each precious moment. Lately, however, I find myself overwhelmed, overextended, and over-committed. I wish I could spend all my energy investing in other people rather than hours of homework that doesn't matter. I wish that I could have time to focus on people, to hear their hurts, their joys, their achievements and their failures. I just need you to stop, or at least slow down. My grade 10 socials teacher had it right when she prayed for time to slow-- for seconds to feel like hours so that we would be able to be productive and get all we needed to done. I guess that's my prayer for this semester, that God would grant me the grace to slow time so that I can be as productive as possible. I know my Savior is good, and he will be faithful to me, but man... this is tough.

Love,

R

Licorice spice and everything nice.

I think I like licorice spice tea so much because it is a root. I like roots because they remind me that what is underneath is more important than what is all on the top visible to the world. Often I forget that it is the process of living is the most important and learning filled journey that there is. I get overwhelmed by what I want to be, that I forget about the necessary process and become anxious to get from point A to point B in the most direct way possible.

But I don't think that is the point of life. I think the point of life is to play in the mud, to get lost in the wanderings of life, while still making it to point B... just not the fastest, easiest way. How much more valuable will a life that has wandered, explored the wrinkles, the muck, the mountain tops and the interesting foliage? Isn't life about the people you encounter?

If you live life with the mindset of getting from point A to point B, you will miss out on conversations that have seemingly no point, no way to get you ahead. You will miss out on what it means to be human, to connect with other humans, to listen.

Therefore, get lost... take the road less traveled. the narrow gate.

The Sun -- Aidan Knight

The wind in my ear
I pedal and push
Riding my bicycle

The clouds are too much
I found the brakes
Light came down as I rode away

Tied up my ties
Tried to look my very best
Wind off an arm, arms
Crossed on my chest

Just what I feared
A knife or a crutch
Caught in the spokes and
Got me all cut up

This song. For me it represents me running. fleeing. getting away, quickly. But then, being pursued by 'the sun' or the Son. and returning. 

The Fierce Shepherdess (a children's story)

Sometimes I feel like I really understand people who do things just to forget. Forget what life is and focus on something else for a while, rather than your own problems. I guess that's what therapy kind of means. Except, therapy implies healing. Forgetting or repressing something is not always a good thing.

I lost myself. I lost myself and I didn't realize that I had. Not until good friends pointed it out to me. I'm sure I subconsciously realized it. I was scared to be an aspect of myself so I ran from it. I ran from myself. How could I do that? How could it take this long to bring me back?

Mental health is such a key part of my calling. I missed it. It wasn't until class today that I realized what I had been missing, who I am called to help and support. How I can be a support and that my role, what ever it may be or look like is important. I must be a fierce advocate for justice, for reconciliation, for love.

How does a shepherd take care of her sheep? What can I do to help those around me? What humble attitude can I adopt that will bring health, nourishment, protection and care to those around me? How can I protect people? I can pray, a must in every situation.

I will be a passionate human being. I will not be apathetic, overwhelmed by my own problems, selfishly absorbed in the muck surrounding me. I will be passion filled, a fierce advocate for God's will.

Justice

"Righteous people are usually either ignored or admired; seldom are they persecuted. The people who pursue justice are the ones who get under people's skin and are persecuted"
- Wolterstorff, 2006

What is the use of pursuing righteousness? Is it all for selfish gain? is it so that other people look up to me and think oh wow! that girl is such a righteous person. I have been trying to pursue righteousness for years now, how have I been so off the mark? Reflecting, I don't think so, it is what you do with the righteousness. Justice is something that I should be pursuing alongside of righteousness. Not a retributive type of kick-you-in-the-teeth type justice, but a pursuit of fairness, a primary justice. If done correctly, this can turn into a righteous justice.

Now. How is it that I do this? How do I pursue justice? This is something that I must think on. How this looks for my life. What implications does this have for my art work? My actions? My thoughts of others?